Strange, Strange Shanghai Dragon
by Kiluaz01
Summary: Hiei finally snaps on Kuwabara, while Botan gets the idea of a vacation for the little fire youkai. But where will this be and what will it bring? Heh but dont think the title gives anything away! Read and Review!
1. Snapped

**Disclaimer:** I dont own Yu Yu Hakusho or Hiei or a wedding ring...

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**I Wont Let Him**

It all started one annoyingly bright day. I relaxed in my tree on the edge of Ningenkai. I hated the place, of course, but stayed to keep a close eye on Yukina and partly because Mukuro was being a bitch.

Some how the stupid human got the idea he could marry my sister. Even though everyone seems oblivious to our relationship I just can't let it go down. So when I saw the big baboon I really didn't waste anytime getting to the temple. Surprisingly enough the whole crew was in the room surrounding the small girl. The unmoving swarm made it almost impossible to get to her. When I finally made it she looked at me with a weird expression that looked like she was thinking that I was a black cockroach.

I think I counteracted with a _how dare you look at your older brother like that_ look and because of it, Botan gave that shrill screech of hers a run for its money. She _thought _that I meant to tell Yukina that she was my sibling. She probably would have if I hadn't threatened to take her head off. In fact I believe that I told her not to tell a soul living or dead, it's doubtful that she did not.

"Well are you going to tell her that you're her bro…"

I snapped my head around so suddenly that it felt as if I had been spun, really, really fast. The glare that I sent her way said enough and she covered her mouth with both hands.

"Opps. It just slipped out I promise. Besides I didn't actually say that you two have the same mo…"

_That's it finish the sentence, the word even and you will no longer be the guardian of the river Styx, I will make sure or it._

And he ruins another of my many feverous attempts at ending the ferry girl's life, because one needs a reason to kill. Or do they?

My conspiring facial expression scared the poop, yes the poop out of everyone. Which I might add almost had me rolling on the floor roaring with laughter, ominous laughter none the less.

Kuwabara was lost. That wasn't too astonishing to say the least.

I, on the other hand had jumped from devising on a way to kill Botan to the colossal buffoon standing to my left. Again I had that malevolent appearance.

Drowning in his stupidity he was unaware of the perilous predicament he was stepping into and made it worse by revealing the exquisite wedding band. Both pairs of crimson eyes exploded, with one major difference. The feminine explosion was one of complete delight and mine, well it was of uncontrollable forces.

I was flaming, giving off a rancid vibe and starring ruptures through his dense body. At long last I was lost to myself, lost to my sanity, and lost to my self restraint. Dashing at the huge man I lunged and began to ruthlessly bash his head in. It was fun, it was exciting, it was killing me.

When I realized the pain that was surging through my body it was too late. A massive body was crushing my lungs causing it very difficult to inhale.

Cringing my teeth and demanding as much as a person could, being smashed and all "Get the hell off me!"

All that got me was a menacing snicker. Kuwabara hoisted himself just a foot above my torso; he followed the action and slammed his butt back into my ribs. The blow pulverized one of them and the world became very murky. Before anyone could prevent the bulky human from completely annihilating my respiratory system he had crushed three more ribs.

How do I know this? Well the horrid blood spurting from my mouth and the crude crunching sounds that filled the room were exceptional signs.

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Well that is the first chapter. Comments are appretiated! Also have an open mind when you read this...its going to get strange

_ja ne_


	2. Excuse ME?

**Excuse ME?**

_Last time…_

_Before anyone could prevent the bulky human from completely annihilating my respiratory system he had crushed three more ribs. _

_How do I know this? Well the horrid blood spurting from my mouth and the crude crunching sounds that filled the room were exceptional signs._

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Somewhere someone had realized that big monkey boy was trying his hardest to rid the earth of a certain fire youkai. It was all a blur but the large head probably belonged to Urameshi who pulled me out from under the hideous man. 

"Man Hiei what the hell are you trying to do?" He asked a stupid question. "Get yourself killed."

Instead of answering I choose to pass out.

When I awoke, my side pained me, bandages enshrouded a huge bruise that decided to cling and make sitting up a living hell. Surprisingly it was easier to breathe then what I would have imagined, but I supposed that the little ice maiden had been working while I slept.

"Good afternoon Hiei-san" Yukina spoke quietly from the other side of the room. I nodded acknowledging her presence. She finally sighed after a long excruciating pause. "Botan told me…"

My mind raced with what the girl could have told her. "Told you what!" I snapped with anger in my voice that seemed to frighten the living daylight out of her, for she turned as white as paper.

"…s…sh…she…" Her stuttering voice definitely showed fear the kind of fear you get when your starring a large grizzly in the eyes and he suddenly opens his mouth.

"Look I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come across like that, so please continue." After waiting for what seemed to be an hour but was only a few seconds I pushed further. "What did she say Yukina?"

"She said that you should go on a vacation." The fear was still present but was considerably less. I let out my own massive sigh as I chuckled to myself. "Please don't be mad at her. She only wants to help."

"I think Ill sleep the rest of the day." I laid back down taking care that I was on my left side. "Just don't let that oaf sit on me."

My shoulder was grabbed and I was brutally shaken. Letting out a groan I rolled onto my back and peered into Kurama's face.

"About time!" he exclaimed. "A nuclear explosion couldn't wake you from the deepest parts of your dreams now could it?" It was more of a rhetorical question than anything,I felt the sarcasm. "I went on the internet and booked you a voyage on the best cruise ship." He hadn't even bothered waiting for me to pull myself up before telling me this horrible late breaking news.

I sat up in a rush of pain, my hand automatically clutched at my side. It must have looked funny me, the most serious of serious people sitting, with my pain filled face and my mouth agape.

"I knew you would like it." The red head had now officially been added to my dumbass list. How could he even stand there and say that? I was a goddamed fire youkai for Christ's sake!

"I'm not going."

"Hiei you need a vacation. That was made clear to all of us when you jumped onto Kuwabara like a mad man."

"Made it clear to ALL of you? ALL of you?" How did I get involved with a room filled with crackpots? HOW! I can't even believe Yukina would have agreed to that! "Not everyone did."

"Guys give me a show of hands on who voted that he should go." And there it was. A little reluctant maybe but all the hands where raised even my own sister…that doesn't know she is related to me.

Damn it. They screw me over once again.

They never told me where they were forcing me to go. I had refused to remove myself from the safety of the, blankets but then again it didn't take much effort for Kurama to drag me out from under them. He had even gone so far as to pack for me. The luggage bag was already sitting near the front door before the end of the week. I didn't get to pick out anything and was at the mercy of the guy who ran around with flowers in his hair, wearing pink, smelling of rose petals.

"Alright Hiei its almost time for your flight."

"Flight?" I questioned him. He said cruise on water not in the air.

"Get in the car Hiei." His voice showed that his patience wore thin. I crossed my arms and sat on the ground. A little childish I know, but there was no way I was leaving Japan. "HIEI!" He had gotten out of the car in lightening fast speed, picked me up screaming my head off and threw me in the back seat.

"Kurama! Let me out! I demand for you to open this thing!" I screamed at the top of my lungs but he ignored me and my threats at blowing him up. The fox got in the other side and started the monstrous metal machine.

He kept his eyes on the road. "Don't worry Hiei it'll be a lot of fun. I've heard you speak english pretty well so you should have no problem." I didn't like the sound of that. English speakers, I didn't want to go to America I wanted to stay in Tokyo! I made sure he knew that too.

"Flight 267 will now be boarding…"

A women's voice sounded from out of the ceiling. And stairs that moved upward by themselves, people bumping and touching me from all over. I was so freaked out that I don't care if I attracted everyone's attention when I screamed, "Get the hell away from me!"

Kurama looked over, grabbed my hand, which I find very wrong and dragged me to a large counter that towered above my head. "I would like to check this suitcase in and get a departure ticket."

"Are you the one who is traveling, sir?"

"No ma'am." I watched his face closely as he held a futile conversation with the woman. He smiled. I could see his face turning red as he blushed when she commented on how beautiful his hair was. My eyes rolled, I couldn't help but kick him right in the shin.

Kurama let out a hiss as he bent down to grab the injured leg. "Hiei, why did you do that?"

"Stop talking to her like you know her."

"Its just conversation now stop being so childish." He lowered his voice so only I could hear. "Your 578 years old start acting like it." I crossed my arms and looked away.

"Sir?" The woman behind the counter had pulled up the ticket number on her computer. "Is that Jaganshi Hiei?" Kurama nodded. "You know that flying restricts persons under eight years old from traveling alone."

The kitsune smiled at what I took as an insult. "Despite his appearance ma'am, Hiei is seventeen."

_Damn right I am…In human years. _I thought and wished so much to pull the owner of that high, pitched girly voice into oblivion. Finished with the woman, Kurama lead me to some sort of portal in which I was to walk through. I did and the thing beeped at me.

"Sir, I have to ask you to remove your coat, scarf and shoes and step over here."

"I am not undressing for you!" I was horrified by his request for me to strip right in front of everyone. Not to mention he was a man and sorry, I don't roll that way.

Kurama was still standing on the other side. "Hiei do as he says." I sighed and stepped forth removing the items. The man took out a long slender object and began scanning me with it. The thing bleeped when he roamed it over my chest.

"Do you have anything implanted from a surgery?"

I immediately thought of the Jagan. "Why do you want to know?"

"Do you have anything metal implanted in your chest?" he was annoyed I could tell. But I was relieved that he wasn't talking about my evil eye. "No." The man ran it over again and sighed.

"Take your shirt off."

This was outrageous! Is this what they called a vacation? I took it off. The man looked at my chest and saw the teargem I keep around my neck. He reached out for it but I pulled away. "No way are you touching this."

"It's not a bomb or anything illegal that you're smuggling out of the country is it." His voice had dropped and he sounded depressed and tired.

I shook my head, he gave my clothes back and I dressed. After that incident I was ready to get out of the place. Kurama gave a slip of paper to the woman and she nodded handing it back. "Its his first time on a plane so do you think he could get someone to show him to his seat?"

A young woman walked up and I followed her. I took one last look before turning the corner to see Kurama waving.

And I didn't wave back.

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Thats it for the second chapter! 

Like I said in my bio the fanfics are outside of YYH and so in my version of age Hiei is 578 years old which converts to 17 or 18(17 1/2) in human years. This is my first- first person pov so if you have any suggestions on how I could make it better than do please tell.

Also the 'Christ's sake' is used as figurative speach. I am not religious. So over look it if you are, sorry if it offends you.

_ja ne_


	3. Uh oh! China

**Uh oh! China**

_Last time…_

"_Its his first time on a plane so do you think he could get someone to show him to his seat?"_

_A young woman walked up and I followed her. I took one last look before turning the corner to see Kurama waving._

_And I didn't wave back._

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The lady led me to my seat, which I found to be smashed between two very large Americans. The women smiled at me from over her magazine, right then I knew Id have some major problems with her. Crawling was the only possible way to get to the middle chair so I had to maneuver over the large man blocking the isle. He was reluctant to have a little kid obscure his vision with the woman; he let me know it whenan abrupt action from himmade me fall to my knees wailing just a bit. 

I lie.

Tears where running from my eyes.

Women wouldn't understand it, but getting hit in a certain spot is really painful and this man had nothing against using that method.

After I quickly collected myself I gave him the most wicked of stares and sat down. The plane started with a roar, even more so as it sped up. My ears did something really funny and I felt really light headed. The woman saw this then burst into laughter.

I had no idea where I was going but I wished it would go by faster, the man was snoring louder than the plane itself.

The woman had finished her magazine; she was now looking at me like I was a model in it. "Hello my name is Helen. Whats yours?"

I didn't want to answer her. Maybe she would think that I didn't understand English and leave me alone! That was a wild thought…it also didn't work. She kept asking and asking until I gave in. "Its Jaganshi Hiei. And I'm not a little kid." Had to make that clear, didn't I?

This caused her to smile even more. "Your English is quite good; your accent is what gives your nationality away. So do I call you 'jeganeshi' or 'hiyi'?"

That was exactly how she pronounced my name too which ticked me off.

"Its fine if you just keep your mouth shut." It came out exactly how I wanted it, snappy and very superior to her. It worked very well too.

I was fully awake the whole trip which seemed to take forever. Turbulence signaled that the flying machine had landed, I was sooo happy! We were unloaded like cattle, pushing and pulling, yanking things, it was a total mess. When I finally got out I had no idea where I was.

The people still looked Asian, the same height, the eyes where slightly narrower than that of the Japanese. A man grabbed my arm, pulling me to the side; he pulled out a card that had my name on it.

"Iz thes yuo?" His English was horrible. What he really meant was 'is this you'. I nodded as I gave the man my routine look over. This time he pulled me towards another gate. I had to be scanned again, luckily this time I didn't have to undress. I boarded another plane.

My seat was by the isle and a girl about my size sat in the other. She didn't seem to notice me sitting down and trying to make the hard cushion to my liking. Soft weeping sounds came from her and I couldn't help but notice that she was crying.

The plane started down the road on which it were to take off. Before the sight of land disappeared behind the clouds the girl whispered, "Good bye Shanghai." She turned to see me watching her and to my surprise, embraced me.

To tell you the truth I had tons of women chasing after my good looks but never had one touch me like this, nor would I allow it. She was lucky that I was so shocked and bedazzled to do anything about it.

This girl kept me close, wetting my cloak from her tears. This shanghai must have been important to her. She pulled back with a grin on her face. "Hi mi name iz Xi. Yours?"

Again the accent was off but it was understandable. "Its Jaganshi Hiei." Short and brief, that's how I wanted to keep it between me and her. It only gave me another smile before she turned to admire the scenery. During the whole trip I kept my eyes away from her, or tried to.

"Jaganshi." I opened my eyes to glance over. "I'm cold." It was evident that she was, her skin was covered with chill bumps. But what was I supposed to do about it? Warm her up with my ki? I don't think so, but that's when I remembered I didn't need my cloak that much. So I gave it to her. To me it seemed like a good deed, it turned out to be a bad idea.

Once her eyes caught sight of the Black Dragon tattoo it was downhill, literally. Everything started to shake, outside a storm had begun and lightening shot through the air. The intercom came on to tell everyone to stay calm.

What I want to know is how am I supposed to stay calm? I'm a fire youkai! I can't swim and we are over a big ass ocean!

The girl jumped into my seat and held herself close to me while screaming with the rest of the passengers. The thing that nearly ended my life was those plastic breathing devices popping out of the cabinet, aimed at my face. I swear someone is trying to kill me without the violence and let me tell you they're doing an excellent job.

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Yes well not all the chapters in a story can be hilarious all the way through now can it? If so then forgive me. I had to introduce this girl and have the story chug along. I was really planning on doing something with the beginning that is why I emphasized the 'americans'. Oh and do remember Hiei is rather stupid to say the least.This is his first time out of Japan, for my story line, and has no idea that Shanghai is actually a city inChina. 

Hope you like and leave an opinion! If not then hey, the fourth chapter will be still coming. Just keep reading, itll get very, very strange. But you could all ready tell that from the title, ne?

_ja ne_


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